Trigger warnings: Depression
I’ve been kinda… MIA for the past couple months, much longer if we talking in the writing community outside of discord. I mean I’m always easy to find on discord in the Erotica Abyss server, which acts as my cushy, safe, goblin cave. But outside of that, I have been struggling.
Between a brief stint with a new job that I ultimately decided was not for me, and a less-brief bout of near-crippling depression, the book launches of my Space Opera: Violent Horizons and my gay romance: Sass, Trash, and One Perfect Ass have gone by quietly with not nearly enough prodding and promoting from yours truly. Naturally, their welcome into the public world was quite underwhelming. I haven’t even had the wherewithall to prep the paperback for sass.
Honestly even writing this update feels like… a lot. So if I’m rambling or talking about shit you don’t want to hear, or TMIing or something, I apologize. lol, I didn’t even intend to talk about this stuff. It’s turning more into stream of consciousness than the preamble I intended. But there is a point I’m getting at, and I should probably get there before I lose track of it. Or before the downer vibes spread to yall amazing folks.
I’m having a good day today. In fact, even though I am struggling, there have been moments among the darkness where really small good things have felt amazing. A sip of lychee soda, for example, rockets me away in an instant. I just close my eyes and melt into the flavour and nothing else matters.
Another thing that has been getting me all atwitter, is Youtube.
Some of you may know that in December, I had begun streaming on Twitch. I only did it for a couple weeks before the loss of a loved one in January kinda ripped away the little bit of wind my sails had managed to cling to.
It did, however, give me a chance to rethink shit. I love streaming on Twitch, even if there was no one or just friends watching because I was just beginning. It was fun to set shit up. It was a rewarding, creative experience to plan these streams and do all the video editing after. The trial and error, and there was a looot of trial and error, makes me feel good because even when I get things wrong, I’m learning, I’m growing, I’m figuring out how to get things right next time.
That’s important.
I made a decision. I don’t think I’m going back to steaming on Twitch. At least not right away. For the last week I’ve been recording gaming sessions I intend to commit to Youtube. I’ve been having a lot of fun doing it. I feel way more in control with this than I did with Twitch. And though I don’t expect much in the way of viewers or subs right away, I am excited about this. It’s been… a while since I’ve been excited.
It feels good.
Anyway, if you’re still here, thank you for tolerating my rambling. If you’d like to check out my channels or my books, or if you’d just like to talk or hit up a game together, comment below or come find me on The Erotica Abyss discord server. I am PyTerato on Youtube, Twitch, and Pyrate/alotofnames on discord
The Erotica Abyss
Discord Server
We are a diverse community server run by erotica writers for erotica writers. From fanfic and original writers just getting their pens wet for the first time, to seasoned veterans. We’re all here to chill and help each other out.
We have
- Writing competitions and collections
- A writing circle
- A weekly positive feedback event
- A multitude of chat and fandom channels
- A supportive, encouraging mod team
Must be over 18 to enter.
Sam Clover 